Privacy ImPolicy

Who we are

Our website address is: http://xr-rebelriders.uk
(DOH! you are looking at it. Are you stupid?)

What personal data we collect and why we collect it

We can’t be arsed to collect any personal data – WTF would we? We are not that interested in you who only exist online. When we meet you in real life we will gather all the personal data we can collect with our senses and store it in our brains – sorry about that, we just can’t help it.

Of course the server that shows you this site may be collecting all sorts of data – perhaps it accesses your phone camera when you are being naughty and sends the pictures to China – who cares?

Anything you put in a comment – text or media or smells – may be copied and sent anywhere in the world for any purpose. It’s called the interweb and like any sufficiently advanced technology it is indistinguishable from magic.

Cookies

In our real world a cookie is an american word for a biscuit. Apparently the gremlins who work inside your devices use the same word for a piece of magic that they use to track who and where you are if they can. Good for them and GCHQ if they are at all interested in your life – live with it or get off the net.

Embedded content from other websites

The boiler plate text that this “content management system” (WordPress) provides for a privacy page is frankly absurd. You aren’t stupid and you know that stuff may appear here over which we have no control. So what?

Who we share your data with

We will share your data that is in our brains with anyone who asks and offers a good enough deal in exchange. Its called conversation.

How long we retain your data

Until we die, and possibly longer. But be aware that memory decays and gets corrupted so the data about you that we tell other people in twenty years time may not be the same as the data you thought you presented to us. Tough titty.

What rights you have over your data

In short none whatsoever. Don’t think about an elephant. Forget that elephant you saw – can’t be done. Sorry.

Where we send your data

Anywhere we need to for any purpose. If you don’t like that then don’t give us any data. Once we have it it is our data not yours any longer – you still have the original in you, we have a copy in us.

Your contact information

Sorry our address book is full. We don’t want it. Go and put it somewhere else.

Additional information

How we protect your data

We don’t.

What data breach procedures we have in place

None

What third parties we receive data from

Anyone in the world – who can say?

What automated decision making and/or profiling we do with user data

Do you understand the question? – we sure as hell don’t.

Industry regulatory disclosure requirements

Since the underlying principle of Extinction Rebellion is that Industry (as it is commonly understood today) and most aspects of “modern” (un)civilisation are incompatible with continued human existence we do not recognise any such “regulatory disclosure requirements”. If you want something just ask us for it politely.